How to Make Sentences
Clear and Concise
Richard Lanham, a professor of English at UCLA,
invented an easy-to-use method for making your writing clearer and more
concise. We strongly advocate Lanham's "Paramedic
Method" for your writing. Here's how to do it:
- 1a. Circle the Prepositions. Too many
prepositions can drain all the action out of a sentence. Get rid of
the prepositions, and find a strong active verb to make the sentence
direct:
Original: In this passage is an example
of the use of the rule of justice in argumentation.
Revised: This passage exemplifies argumentation using the rule
of justice.
- 1b. Circle the "is" forms.
Using "is" in a sentence gets it off to a slow start, and
makes the sentence weak. Replace as many "to be" verbs
with action verbs as you can, and change all passive voice ("is
defended by") to an active voice ("defends").
Original: The point I wish to make is
that fish sleep with their eyes open.
Revised: Fish sleep with their eyes open.
- 2. Ask, "Where's the action?"
"Who's kicking who?" (using
Lanham's own terminology here--it would be "Who kicks
whom?" but that is another grammatical issue. . .) If you get
stuck in a passive sentence always ask the question: "Who does
what to whom?" If you use that formula you will always write
active sentences.
Original: Burning books is considered
censorship by some people.
Revised: Some people consider burning books censorship.
-
- 3. Put this "kicking" action in a
simple active verb.
Original: The theory of relativity
isn't demonstrated by this experiment.
Revised: This experiment does not demonstrate the theory of
relativity.
- 4. Start fast--no slow windups. Stick
to the action and avoid opening sentences with phrases like
these:
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